would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
