Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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