Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
