i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Acid is not a monday night drug
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
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Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
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Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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