please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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