You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
