My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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