You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
it was like eating out sand paper
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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