grandma shit on top of the toilet
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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