I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Ladies don't puke and tell
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
