honey bunches of taint.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
