I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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