i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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