Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Barsexuality is the new black.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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