I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
