Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
