There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
