she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
