It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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