Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
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