is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
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