Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
