I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
