what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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