I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Even my vagina gasped.
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I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
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I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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