The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Randomize
