I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think your dad took our porno
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
