Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
