I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
