I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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