when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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