So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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