smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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