Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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