At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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