the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
