I'm gonna have a badass scar
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
