with your own penis?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize