I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
