listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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