My friends, they love my intelligence
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
