Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
