the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
