Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I've blown a few things in my day
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
