it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
