Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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