Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance

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  (918): Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance http://tfl.nu/628h
  Replies (12) Good night (3441) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"

  (646): View more from New York

  how do you like your eggs?

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  over tits

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  (865): I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast" (646): how do you like your eggs? (865): over tits http://tfl.nu/9kyc
  Replies (27) Good night (4779) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth

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  (414): it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth http://tfl.nu/rgv0
  Replies (19) Good night (1044) Bad night (4721)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.

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  (443): My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat. http://tfl.nu/c3g0
  Replies (46) Good night (4628) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"

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  (513): I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair" http://tfl.nu/ia2j
  Replies (21) Good night (771) Bad night (6287)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night

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  (817): He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night http://tfl.nu/fv27
  Replies (25) Good night (983) Bad night (7365)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.

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  (405): I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost. http://tfl.nu/voez
  Replies (41) Good night (7787) Bad night (2329)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.

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  (978): his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave. http://tfl.nu/6huv
  Replies (13) Good night (5610) Bad night (1318)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..

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  (772): I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all.. http://tfl.nu/gmlb
  Replies (9) Good night (821) Bad night (1888)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character

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  (920): He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character http://tfl.nu/qsh8
  Replies (4) Good night (1654) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.

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  (225): I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40. http://tfl.nu/yalq
  Replies (3) Good night (885) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit

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  (312): Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit http://tfl.nu/kckq
  Replies (3) Good night (1277) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"

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  (651): We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you" http://tfl.nu/qvid
  Replies (7) Good night (740) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!

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  (514): OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR! http://tfl.nu/abrr
  Replies (14) Good night (870) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.

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  (813): I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants. http://tfl.nu/1836
  Replies (0) Good night (629) Bad night (203)

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