So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.