You're so nebulous sometimes
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Too much gin, very little bucket
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point