my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
