My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
