It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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