Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Randomize
