OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dignity is for republicans.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize