He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
