If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
