Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Can I color on your dick again?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
