need another drink. this is the easiest way
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
