She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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