Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
