Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
