no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
