Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
