I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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