no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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