I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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