girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
