I hate all girls vehemently.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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