Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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