two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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