16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
