I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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